First, an explanation:
Greg the Trumpet is a saxophonist. The monicker Greg the Trumpet was coined by a half-witted cutter at the once-esteemed Savile Row tailoring establishment of Denman & Goddard. Frank Byars, who shall remain nameless, was entrusted with bringing into being a sartorial creation equal in artistic glory to the performance delivered by our eponymous hero at Denman & Goddard’s Christmas bash circa 1994.
Dazzled to the point of befuddlement by the horn player’s efforts, and ignorant of, amongst other items, his surname, Byars hazarded a stab at the artist’s instrument (not literally) in order to identify him for their pattern archive. The denizens of London’s West End took to the nickname and, thenceforth, that became what, in this portion of the globe, he answers to.
Having explained that anomaly, I wish to pass to another:
Despite the patronage of various impresarios and performances at innumerable prestigious events, obscurity has clung to Trumpet like anchovy paste on a favourite tweed jacket. His career started at the none-too glamorously esoteric Egremont public house where he was bizarrely recruited by an eccentric landlord (not for the last time) to play the piano, even though he couldn’t. Emboldened, and baffled, by the enthusiastic response, he joined with friends to create the (unintentionally) anarchic jazz combo The Rhythm Method.
A stalwart of the French Riviera, Greg has performed at the Cannes Film Festival for the last twelve years. This has resulted in no film offers at all, despite his appearing once in a student video of one of his own compositions in 1986. From the late 80’s Greg led the band Henry’s Pencil which delighted London for over twenty years and holds the attendance record at the famous 100 Club. Tatler’s endorsement of them as one of the ten best bands in Britain to book for one’s wedding promised to be a breakthrough and, indeed, duly led to an enquiry. Such is the power of publicity. In 2006 he teamed up with the noted misanthrope Mike Willox, famous (not very) for being someone’s son, to produce his second album, of groovy jazz standards in a quintet format named MGQ. These are in thecupboard under the stairs.
The highlights have been the annual big band concerts at the 100 Club where original arrangements by Felix Rigg illuminate the attributes of self-confessed singers, the Custard Tarts. It should be mentioned that many of Trumpet’s under-achievements have been played out alongside the watchful glaze (he wears thick specs and drinks a lot) of the talented Mr. Rigg, his oft-time sidekick who can read music.
To bring circumstances full circle the self-styled Lord Mayfair, landlord of the Grosvenor Arms, W1, has installed Trumpet’s four piece jazz trio at his pub/folly where they are currently booked to perform on the second Wednesday of every month ad infinitum or until a better offer comes along. Probably ad infinitum.
BUT he will be here at The Society Club indulging us with a performance!!!!!
R S V P firstname.lastname@example.org
First, an explanation: